Week 5 SSW

CRASH!!!! As the thunder crashes in the sky, the rain splashes on my umbrella. Fighting to keep it up I push it against the wind. My umbrella snapped without warning. To make it worse, my friend drives past into a puddles which soaks me. “Haha shame” he yells out to me.

Now this is the paragraph I have made better:

CRASH!!!! As the thunder crashes in the sky, the torrential downfall splashes on my umbrella. Fighting to keep it up I push it against the brick like force. BANG! My umbrella snapped without warning. To add insult to injury, my friend drives past into a puddles which soaks me. “Haha shame” he yells out to me. In pitter and disper, I walk home cold and soaked.